I slipped away early, 
taking my thirty,
Eating my pretzels, 
And shopping online for cardigans,
You came and found me,
Asked if I was ok
Because I did not take my lunch at 2:30,

You did not hear me leave, 
But twenty minutes later,
You noticed my absence,
And your only sadness was that
I wasn’t there ready and willing to say
Goodbye when you left,

Most days you say goodbye to everyone in the office,
And pass by me in silence
Not even turning your head to look back,
The days you do stop and talk
It’s all about you,
And I got tired of waiting,

I was happy scrolling and crunching,
In my cramped kitchen fruit fly infested oasis,
Part of me knew you’d come for me,
Black holes search for the light,
and though mine dims for you,
It’s not quite extinguished,
I can see you thinking,
Asking the bare minimum questions,
But never the ones I want to answer,

Good! Let my mystery fester,
Let it eat at you
Like the bile churning in my stomach,
When for a brief moment,
I think, “huh…he came for me”
Before I remember all the times you left me,
All the times you chased other women,
Literally, spending hundreds of dollars
Just to impress them at the clubs here,
You must think me cheap or boring,

Well, these red lips would kiss you goodbye,
But it’s not worth smudging my makeup,
And no, I did not wear it for you or some other guy,
I just like the meditation of painting my secrets,
And the deep desire for others to finally listen,

You are afraid of losing me,
It’s funny because you gave no thought
To leaving me behind,
But I dare not to orbit around your periphery
For thirty minutes, and you come find me,
Tell me I’m not eating at “2:30”,
If I was not in the kitchen,
Would you have barged into the bathroom?

You’re worse than a toddler
Because at least a toddler tells you what they want!
You never told me you wanted me,
You only act like you do until I give in,
And you can walk away satisfied
While I yearn for more,

I smile at you with my red lips,
Clenching my resentment,
I am not yours; you made that clear,
You are not mine; you made that clear,
You are leaving that is clear,
And you won’t even throw a Hail Mary,
And clear the air,

Let me take my thirty minutes of peace,
Let me slip away in quiet solitude,
Be one with the fruit flies,
And buy the cardigan in the world I created without you
Because the fruit flies are less bothersome
Than the blood sucking mosquito you have become!


By Hyacinth Hale