I begged to be marked just once,
For a mouth shaped bluish hue to appear just below my jawbone,
For a man to show the world I was his,
No man laid claim to me before,
No man ever cared to,

They would have their fill; or rather, they would fill me up with fantasies grander than my eyes could see; and then,
they would vanish as quickly as the time it takes for a seductive whisper to part a mouth, resound in the ear, and then dissipate into the ether,

No man ever took my desires into account before, so color me surprised, a pale white fading in and out of a pinkish red gradient,   when the man who finally said yes told me no,
I asked him why and all he said was 
“I would never disrespect you like that”, 

That was the exact moment I was woefully aware of all the bruises left on me both physical and metaphorical, by the men in my past who still haunt me, lurking in the back of my mind as I look forward into the eyes of a man who has showed nothing but kindness,

Love and tenderness are his first and middle name, His last I am still deciding if I would take if he offered, I thought all I would need is a kind man someone different from the men I escaped, or rather who escaped me as I chased after the fear of loneliness wrapped up in societal obligations, I am learning I need so much more, and I no longer fear loneliness; but rather, I fear the yellowish hue of finger shackles binding me to a man forever that will not work as hard at loving me as I would for him



~ By Hyacinth Hale