Broken Vessel

Photo by Anna Chaykovskaya on
I was fractured, and you were supposed to be my healer, 
Instead, you shattered my existence,
Lost, broken, I let you go free, 
So that I would be left somewhat intact, 
I wanted you gone, but you never left my mind, 
Always lurking in the back of it, 
Popping out in the most inconvenient times,

When someone grabs my shoulder from behind, it’s you,
When someone whispers next to me, it’s you, 
Every man that smiles at me, it’s your smile,
When I close my eyes, I see you,
I hesitate to wear my favorite lipstick 
Because you liked it so much,

There is not an inch of my life that you did not slither into, 
Wrap yourself around my throat as I scream, 
Choke what’s left of my dignity out of me, 
And leave the scars to mark me, 
I am enslaved to you even as a free woman 
As you still walk unencumbered,

A decision I made to keep the peace, 
But I’m not sure whose peace, 
Your pieces are still with me, 
And a piece of my flesh will always be 
A trophy on your mantle, 
Something to mount as your victory, your conquest, 
Even though the rest of me escaped, 
A small price to pay for the freedom I have now,

Now, I glue back my broken pieces, 
And figure out how the pieces you left behind fit in,
I am no longer whole without you,
But that does not mean you get to change 
The tides of the water I carry inside, 
Though right now it is dark and stormy,
One day, one day, you will only be a gentle breeze 
That blows through the cracks,
Easily remembered, easily forgotten,
Leaving my life unaffected, 
and the ability to smile and mean it

By Hyacinth Hale

A Bullet in the Hourglass (New Graphic Art Version)

This Poem talks about depression, and suicidal thoughts and ideation. It comes with a trigger warning. If you or a loved one are struggling with depression and suicidal thoughts know that you are not alone, you are loved, and you are stronger than you think. Better days are ahead. Here are some resources from around the world: